We know we're weird. That our way of going about life is a bit unusual. We're a walking paradox. White parents with black kids. Country folks who moved to trendy Atlanta and attend a ginormous church. From a comfortable home to a cramped, two-bedrooom apartment. From serving on staff at a fantastic church we loved, to raising support in order to pay bills and doing things we have zero
Our decisions are often questioned. Some see us as unwise. Others may doubt our motives. After all, it was so much "safer" before all this. We had "security."
But what we did not have, was peace.
The thing is, sometimes we get convicted by things we read in Scripture, and acting on those convictions generally makes us do abnormal things. We get these ideas in our heads, and we're not always sure where they come from, so we investigate. We ask, "Are we just being crazy or did that idea actually come from God?"
Oh, if you only knew some of the things we've talked about doing! Not all of the ideas are, of course, from God. But some of them take root, because they really did come from Him. Most of God's plans seem to fall in the "risky" category, so we wrestle HARD with the idea until we're pretty convinced it's from Him. And then? WE JUMP.
At the jumping point, there's always a bit of doubt mixed in. What if we're wrong? What if we missed it? This is CRAZY! This is stupid. But accompanying those thoughts is the difficult and painful journey we took to get there in the first place. It's here where we say something to God like, I'm 85% sure this is right. I know there's some doubt remaining, but we've done our homework. We've thought this through. We've sought advice. We've scoured the Scriptures. We've begged You to stop us if we're wrong, and it feels like You're giving us nothing but confirmation instead.
What else can you do at that point, anyway?
You really must say yes.
How can you feel okay about saying no?
So you jump.
The result? Peace. The really good kind that comes from knowing you didn't turn your back on God.
Our security does not come from a salary or a comfortable lifestyle. It certainly does not come from fitting in with the world or going along with it's expectations, even those of well-meaning Christian friends. No, our hope comes from Christ alone. Our hope comes from what He's done for us. And in knowing we are smack dab in the center of His will for our lives.
After the jump, God continues to confirm. I don't always see it clearly in the middle, but eventually...once some time has passed and God (once again) comes through...the fog lifts and I'm reminded that He's never left my side for a second.
Some days, I go to bed wondering what on earth I'm doing. How am I, a white country boy raising two kids from Rwanda in the city of Atlanta, going to pull off this daunting task before me as I begin my role with Africa New Life. What will it look like? Will anyone listen? I don't fit in here. What do I do?
All I have to do to regain my peace and confidence is look back at where God has taken us. He has been oh-so-faithful and A-MAZ-ING. He has provided in seriously miraculous ways that have left us in awe of His love and power. He is in this. It was His idea, so He must have some big plans. He will not fail us...even if it is a bit unorthodox.
So go ahead and call us crazy. We're really okay with it.
God is for us.
What else matters?